When an online romance asks your parent to move money

An online relationship can feel real and still be used to make a financial request seem ordinary. One request to watch for is not simply “send me money.” It is “could you receive it for me?”

A romantic contact might ask your parent to deposit a check, accept a transfer, forward money, send cryptocurrency, or open or use a bank account or crypto wallet in their name. That can make your parent a money mule: someone whose account or services are used to move money for someone else. The person may not realize what is behind the request.

The request can come after trust is built

Romance scammers may spend time building a relationship before asking for help. A request to handle someone else’s money can be framed as a favor, a temporary workaround, or help with a business opportunity. The details vary, but the key question is simple: Are they asking your parent to receive, transfer, or hold money for someone they have not met in person?

An online relationship is not automatically a scam. But no one should have to use a loved one’s bank account or crypto wallet to prove affection or commitment.

Start with curiosity, not accusation

Try asking: “Has anyone you met online or by phone asked you to receive or move money, deposit a check, send cryptocurrency, or open or use an account for them? If so, let’s pause and look at it together.”

Agree on a family pause rule: don’t receive, deposit, forward, or move money or cryptocurrency for someone met only online or by phone, and don’t open or lend an account or wallet for them. If a request seems legitimate, wait and check with your bank or payment provider using contact details you find independently, not details supplied by the online contact.

Make the routine mutual: “Before either of us uses an account or sends money for someone new we met online, we’ll talk it over with someone we trust.” That keeps the conversation about a shared safety habit, not whether your parent should have trusted someone.

If money has already moved

Stop further transfers. Don’t pay anyone who promises to recover the money for an upfront fee. Save messages, emails, phone numbers, account details, and receipts or transaction records. Then stop communicating with the person.

Call the bank or payment provider promptly. Explain that an online romantic contact asked your parent to receive or move funds. Ask whether a transfer can be stopped or reversed and what to do with any money still in the account. A reversal is not guaranteed, but quick contact gives the provider a chance to advise on the next step.

Report it. In the United States, file a report with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at IC3.gov and contact local law enforcement. Keep the report details with the saved records.

If your parent tells you about it, thank them for speaking up. Scammers work to build trust; blame makes it harder to ask for help. Focus on stopping the next transfer and getting the bank involved.